ytfc.net recently received the email below from Derby County fan Robert Lee offering five Town fans who travelled to Derby a free copy of his book ‘The Not So Beautiful Game’.
I am a Derby County fan – and the author of ‘The Not So Beautiful Game, a football based novel. You may be now wondering how this has any relevance to Yeovil Town Football Club, but please bear with me, the reason will soon become clear.
Yesterday (28th Jan) Yeovil Town played Derby County. Although I was unable to make it to the game, those Derby County fans who did go have expressed their admiration for and respect of the Yeovil Town fans who made the long trip to support their team.
What they lacked in numbers, they made up for in vocal support, making more noise than many other away fans whose numbers far exceeded this. These few loyal supporters were a credit to your club and deserve praise.
To this end I would like to offer you five copies of my novel as a gift for five of those supporters.
Were you at Pride Park singing your heart out for the men in green and white? Would you like a copy of The Not So Beautiful Game? If so then email firstname.lastname@example.org with a picture of yourself at the game or a picture of the stadium from the match. The first five entries will receive a copy of Robert’s book.
The Not So Beautiful Game
Muncaster United are so bad, the only title they have ever been in contention for is that of ‘The most unsuccessful football club in the history of the game.’
So, could the arrival of wealthy new owner, Max Roberts, be a sign that things were going to change? Well, yes it could, but not a change for the better. Max, driven by a thirst for revenge, had only one goal on his mind – to destroy the club. This coming season, should Muncaster United not be promoted from Division Four of ‘Patels’ eight-till-late Convenience Stores League,’ the club would be wound up and the appropriately named Asylum Ground turned into a housing estate.
The players – and the supporters – take up the challenge, even though, for a club who have been relegated for eight seasons in succession, it appeared to be impossible. After all, it would be difficult enough with the usual obstacles to overcome – players who couldn’t find the goal with a map, optically challenged referees who would like nothing more than to see Muncaster United fold up, and opposition teams who are far better at football. To make matters worse, this season they have a clueless new manager, one who thinks that ‘hide the sausage’ is more of a ‘beautiful game’ than football, and a contract on their heads that a local gangland boss and his heavies are only too happy to honour. Oh, and then there’s the small matter of the arrival at the Asylum Ground of his satanic majesty, none other than the devil himself.
Who said football was a funny old game?
About the Author
Just who is Robert Lee? And more importantly, where is he? All attempts to locate him have failed. Muncaster private detective, Dick Privet, hired to discover his whereabouts, drew a blank, a face that resembled a potato, and a three legged horse. But, enough of his artistic failings; what did he discover about the elusive Robert Lee? Rumour (and a plea for help in the form of a note attached to a carrier pigeon’s leg) has it that the unfortunate scribe is being held against his will in Muncaster’s asylum. Other than the one attached to Lucky, his Jack Russell terrier, this was the only lead Dick had. Keen to get to the truth, he tried to gain access to the asylum, but was prevented from doing so by the gargantuan Igor, the over-enthusiastic doorkeeper whose job is to ensure the inmates remain within its four walls. Even though it does not come within his job description, he also enjoys keeping everyone else without, a task he undertakes with relish, and sometimes with tomato ketchup – as poor Dick Privet found to his cost. After the offending bottle had been removed, Dick Privet took it to the local recycling centre, and his suspicions to the local constabulary. DC Shirley Combs, still emotionally and mentally traumatised by the unsavoury incident in Muncaster United’s dressing room, took on the investigation and interviewed the Asylum’s director, Dr Edmund Latimer, who said:- “Robert Lee? Never heard of him. We haven’t got any writers imprisoned in the attic with reams of paper, an endless supply of quills and a large vat of ink. Cross my heart and hope to… aaarrrrgghh…” Robert Lee’s whereabouts, and his identity, remain a mystery.